Big Man Summer
Šeško, Scamacca and Saba: it's summertime, and Euro 24 is ready for the big boys.
It’s the 9th of June, and I’m in the weird limbo state between the end of club football and the start of Euro 2024 – pre-tournament friendlies haven’t quite scratched the itch, and if I’m honest, neither has a series of European and domestic cup finals. As an EFL fan, my team hasn’t kicked a ball in six weeks. I’ve spent the last week in the office with my laptop screen on it’s dimmest setting as I browse Wikipedia and Transfermarkt, and format an excel sheet on a monitor to my left to look like what I should be doing. Colour coding each player’s entry to the colour of their flag is getting tedious, as there’s only so many readable combinations of red and white. The offseason never seems to feel any shorter.
Inspired by a series of tweets by Duncan Alexander and my own affinity with a label for a piece of time, I’d like to proclaim that Hot Girl Summer has a football-related brother this year – it’s officially Big Man Summer. In the weeks since I boarded a train back to Manchester from the Stadium of Light and closed my personal account of 23/24 as a fan, Joselu (192cm) lifted Real Madrid’s 15th Champions League, Gianluca Scamacca (195cm) finished his account for a historic Atalanta season, a podcast about Benjamin Sesko’s (195cm) delicious transfer prospects this summer fills my ears on public transport, and Jannik Vestergaard (199cm) parades Leicester town centre on an open-top bus tour as he sets sights back on the Premier League. Big Man Summer doesn’t begin at Euro 2024 – we’re already in the midst of it.
The lore of the “Big Man” in football is woven into the rich tapestry of the game – history is awash with tales of towering titans who have left an indelible mark on the sport. Giants of the game have captured the imagination of fans and foes alike – I’m no different.
While the CIES Football Observatory states that “no correlation exists between the average height of teams and results achieved”, physical stature certainly underpins numerous narratives in the game. I’ve multiple pals or friends-of-friends remark they were “too short” to make it into academies. A poster on r/bootroom worries about standing 5’5 and his prospects of making it pro, and commenters comfort him with tales of Messi, Maradona and Modric. My father – a man with often questionable but incredibly entertaining opinions and anecdotes – loves a big man, and lamented often that the game was far more entertaining ‘back in the day’, thanks to the contributions of the Niall Quinns and John Charleses of his younger days.
An afternoon of “research” into height and association football ends up confusing – but I remind myself that Big Man Summer is about aura, vibes and fun, much in the same way Hot Girl Summer is about debauchery, looking good, and being irresponsible. I went back to my spreadsheet, determined to not let hours of ‘work’ go fruitless – here’s what I found:
The Biggest Men at Euro 24
Part One – The Goalies
Altay Bayindir – Turkey – 198cm
Clarity over Altay Baindir’s starting position for both Turkey and Manchester United is sparse – but as the fifth-tallest keeper at Euro 24, his part in Big Man Summer cannot be underestimated. Preferred for cups and friendlies by his respective teams, we might not catch sight of him on the pitch, but his place on this list is nailed-on.
Anatoliy Trubin – Ukraine – 199cm
The spot between the sticks is contentious in the Ukraine setup – pretournament friendlies have seen a rotation between Anatoliy Trubin (199cm), Heorhiy Buschchan (196cm) and Andriy Lunin (196cm), but if coach Serhiy Rebrov is feeling the Big Man Summer vibes, he’s got to go for Benfica’s Anatoliy Trubin.
Marcin Bulka – Poland – 199cm
I’m beginning to spot a pattern here – are goalkeepers not included in Big Man Summer? Is every summer a Big Man Summer when it’s a characteristic intrinsically linked to your position? As above, Poland’s Marcin Bulka might not knock Wojciech Szczesny (195cm) off the top spot, but there’s space for you here, mate.
Giorgi Mamardashvili – Georgia – 199cm
Valencia’s Giorgi Mamardashvili comes from Big Man pedigree – his father, Davit (191cm) played in net for WIT Georgia and Torpedo Kutaisi, as well as becoming a goalkeeping coach in his retirement. If there was a Big Man Summer handbook, I’d probably ask these guys to write the foreword.
Vanja Milinković-Savić– Serbia – 202cm
Introducing your undisputed Biggest Man at Euro 24 – rotating Serbia keeper Vanja Milinković-Savić. The outright tallest footballer at the competition and the only over two metres, the younger brother of Sergej (192cm) had some unimpressive performances in pre-tournament friendlies, but there’s at least a medal waiting for him here.
Part Two – Outfield
10. Benjamin Šeško – Slovenia – Forward – 195cm
He’s the biggest bloke on the Red Bull rollercoaster, and after another impressive season with Leipzig, Benjamin Šeško leaves the rumour mill behind at Energy Drink HQ after signing a new deal to stay in Germany – the spiritual home of this Big Man Summer.
9. Jack Hendry – Scotland – Centre Back – 195cm
Playing his club football with Steven Gerrard’s Al-Ettifaq, Scotland’s big man at the back joins the narrative of players who “might not be up to” the pace and standard of an international tournament after a season of the Saudi Pro-League. But it’s not really the time or the arena to weigh in on that narrative – I’ll leave it to the experts. He’s tall. He’s definitely up to a Big Man Summer.
8. Virgil Van Dijk – Netherlands – Centre Back – 195cm
A familiar, high up face. The captain of the Netherlands, Liverpool, and the Big Man 11.
7. Gianluca Scamacca – Italy – Forward – 195cm
There are ten references to Gianluca Scamacca’s 195 centimetres in the ‘Style of Play’ section of his Wikipedia page. The Atalanta forward has had a stunning 23/24 after a disappointing West Ham transfer last summer – he knows what season it is.
6. Jonathan Tah – Germany – Centre Back – 195cm
Another man coming into his prime just in time for BMS. Nagelsman heard us – he’s been a starter for Germany in the build-up to the tournament after an incredible season with his record-breaking Bayer Leverkusen side.
5. Maksym Talovierov – Ukraine – Centre Back – 196cm
Young Ukrainian defender Maksym Talovierov made his senior debut in a pre-tournament friendly against Poland, after impressing with domestic form with LASK. Although admitting to struggling against Robert Lewandowski (185cm) in this game, he’s “very happy” about his debut and “will be ready in a week” – perfect!
4. Saba Kvirkvelia – Georgia – Centre Back – 196cm
Two time Georgian footballer of the year, top 5 most capped Georgian under 21 and just missing out on the podium places for Big Man Summer, Solomon “Saba” Kvirkvelia has it all. Tours of the Russian Premier League, contract terminations and links to Leicester City the year they won the Prem have led the 32 year old to Al-Okhdood, who have been recently promoted to the Saudi Pro League. Real Big Man Summer stuff.
3. Wout Weghorst – Netherlands – Forward – 197cm
#Weghorst is possibly the patron saint of Big Man Summer – he might not be the tallest man on the list, but he certainly embodies the spirit. “What, like Wout Weghorst?” was the reply for most of my friends when I started to get them on board with BMS. Incredible work from the boy. Your time is now.
2. Jannik Vestergaard – Denmark – Centre Back – 199cm
Wikipedia tells me that Leicester City defender Jannik Vestergaard “has a girlfriend, Pernille, and a dog, Brady.” He doesn’t know that he also has is a joint-top spot as the tallest footballer at the Euros. In his own words, the Dane has been “reborn” under Enzo Maresca, but I’d rather put down his uptick in form to a certain season.
1. Tomas Chory – Czech Republic – Forward – 199cm
Tomas Chory might not get on the pitch – and if he does, he might not be very popular selection in Czech circles, according to the sentiment some auto-translated tweets – but he’s more than welcome at the Big Man Summer party. Thanks to a broken Wikipedia page, I can’t tell you much about Tomas Chory, but I think the mystery adds to the aura.
Honorable Mentions
Olivier Giroud (France, Forward, 193cm), Kai Havertz (Germany, Forward, 193cm), Scott McTominay (Scotland, Forward, 193cm), Charles De Ketelaere (Belgium, Midfielder, 192cm), Lewis Dunk (England, Centre Back, 192cm), Patrik Schick (Czech Republic, Forward, 191cm)
The League Table
Prophesising Big Man Summer has been the perfect antidote to off-season blues. It certainly filled a week of necessary football-related bemusement, and perhaps it’s all confirmation bias, but maybe it really has been a season for the big boys. I’m ready to celebrate the towers, the giants, the imposers. A summer tournament feels like a treat after a winter world cup, and I think for this gift, size does matter.